Riding the train back to a lost home, lingering between stops, casual couch crashings, and ups & downs of this hapless existence.

I long to sob and cry with reckless abandon. I long to flail my arms about and send them crashing into the walls. Lashing out and letting loose this internal carnage that is wreaking havoc on me.

Dominated by women, crushed by their intensity, insensitively making me weep silent tears that hope for sympathy and instead bring shame.

A woman's man, sensitive and emotional, saddened to the core. Gouging out insincere attempts at dealing with issues, I want to smash my girly face. Choke the life of this dreaded mother spawned disease in me that gives me my strength and makes me go mad.

Towns full of homes slide by outside my windows. Buildings and houses full of people living and not thinking anout living. Dying inside but with a tough enough exterior to deflect those fleeting feelings.

I weep, I shriek, I roar, I cry,
I sleep, I slink, I soar and die.

This is my train soliloquy, typed out through 26 fractured thoughts. My weakness, my strength, my gift of love.

It kills me to love and feel and run my fingers through humanity's hair and to be unsure of it's feelings for me.

Orpheus looks back and sees that life will always be behind him, fading from eyes that seek a frozen moment in time.

These words soothe and seal away a beast of isolation. I am free to stand like a man, and be proud of a life that is my own.

Naked and scorched, pain erupting from every nerve, pores pouring out salty salivation scorching my wounds. I suffer for you and stand to protect. I will not look back, I will not falter.

I rise and become a man.